So I finally tried a Brondell bidet seat, and apparently I’ve been living like a caveman my entire life.

You mean to tell me I’ve spent all these years buying toilet paper by the case when this thing has heated water, adjustable pressure, a heated seat, and enough settings to make you wonder whether you’re using a toilet or preparing for launch at NASA?

The first time you sit down, you’re cautious. Real cautious. You start pushing buttons like you’re defusing a bomb. “What does THIS one do?” Then suddenly—SURPRISE!—you find out.

After a few days, though, you get spoiled. Now a regular toilet feels like somebody took away the power windows and handed you a hand crank.

The heated seat alone will ruin you. Nothing says luxury quite like sitting down at 2:00 in the morning and thinking, “Well… somebody around here cares about me.”

And of course, if you’re going to upgrade your bathroom throne, you want it installed right. That’s where American Plumbing comes in. Because a fancy bidet seat is great, but a flooded bathroom because somebody watched half a YouTube video first… not so luxurious.

Brondell brings the comfort. American Plumbing makes sure the plumbing doesn’t turn your bathroom into an indoor swimming pool.

I’m not saying I’m spoiled now… but a regular toilet suddenly feels very third world.